What is a Shepherd?

This one is going to be harder for me to write. Not that I typically write things that have a comical flare and little to no depth, but this one hits differently. Recently I participated in a study through a church we were attending that explored W. Phillip Keller’s book A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23. If you haven’t read it, I would highly recommend it. Keller does a great job at relating what it is like to be a shepherd and how that relates to our ultimate shepherd, Jesus. While I already carried a bit of angst with me at the time relating to the modern corporation the church has become, this book solidified some of those things a bit more for me. Learning how carefully a shepherd takes care of all his sheep and how carefully Jesus does the same thing with us made me long for the institution of the church to embody Christ in this way more than before. So, what is a shepherd? What does he do? In the most basic sense of the word, he tends to his sheep. That seems pretty obvious, now, doesn’t it? But what does that actually mean and how does it relate to the church today? A shepherd knows his sheep, like really knows them. He knows everything about them, where they like to wander, what they like to eat, who they hang out with. He keeps them clean and free from pests which may taint their skin and wool. Seriously guys, just go read the book. And while all of this is being related to Jesus in Keller’s book, I can’t help but think this is really the way a pastor should be with his church. However, due to the mega church movement this seems to be the furthest thing from how a pastor is with his church and one of the reasons we no longer attend a church. While no church is perfect as I am sure some of you will want to point out to me, a pastor should be as close to perfect as you can find on this earth. You may not like me for saying that or agree with that but even the bible points out that those who chose to be teachers of the word will be held to a higher standard by God. (See James 3:1) In fact, this is so true that he actually urges individuals to not become teachers because they will be judged so harshly. In my book this means that if God is going to hold them to a higher standard, it is okay for me to do a little of the same. Is it so wrong for me to ask of my pastor that he knows me and cares for me as a shepherd should? The problem is, when you have hundreds upon hundreds of people in your flock, there is no way for you to know them all. While a shepherd in the real line of work may be able to manage quite a few sheep, while we are often compared to sheep, we are much more complex. I do not think it is possible for a pastor to oversee that many people in his flock. There is no way he can know them all and therefor shepherd them the way he should. I’ve met countless people who attend church and have for some time but feel they still do not know anyone and do not feel connected to their congregation. While some of this could be due in part to the individual not making the effort they need to, often it is just because there is a small group of individuals who started said church and have since formed a popular group and those who have not been around long enough fall away as outsiders. Pastors could spend months trying to connect with every person in their congregation only to find there is no way they ever possibly could. They could have sheep who are injured physically and emotionally, and they would never know because they have collected too many sheep and are no longer able to care for them properly. It seems to me that it has become a contest of which pastor can collect the most sheep. “Hey, look at my church and how big it is and how much we are thriving!” Meanwhile that pastor has sheep who are straying and hurting and falling off cliffs and no one even notices. That is not what a shepherd is. In my opinion, in order for a pastor to follow the example of the ultimate shepherd, churches should remain small. You should know your flock, really know them, and care for them. Recently I was being primed to be a vocalist on the worship team of the church we were attending. I went to practices and did all the things that lined me up to become part of the team. However, during the process I was not happy. I had a lot going on in my personal life and guess what, no one noticed. The main pastor of the church actually was one of the main worship leaders and when it came time for me to be placed on the schedule, I told him that although I felt physically prepared to be on the team, I did not feel mentally prepared as I was struggling with a lot of mental health problems, anxiety and depression to be specific. To my astonishment he simply replied, “I’m sorry to hear that” and went about his life. Never did he offer to help me in any way. Did I need counseling or help in some other way? Never did he ask what he could do to help. Now if this had been just another one of the congregants or even the worship leader, I may have let it slide by me, but this was the pastor, my pastor, my shepherd. He seemed to be more than okay with leaving me stuck in the think of the thorny busy I was in and move on to the next person in line then try to help me get unstuck. Now again, he is human, and Jesus is my shepherd and the one I can truly rely on. But shouldn’t our pastors be immolating Jesus more than anyone else on this earth? Shouldn’t they have more care and compassion for God’s people? Especially people who are a part of their body, a part of their flock, whom they have been entrusted with? Any pastor doing any less than that is not a true shepherd, at least not in this girl’s perspective.